Challenge Accepted...
I was challenged today. That challenge was looking at all the things that happened in my past and to evaluate those events. If the event was negative...I was asked to list a positive that was a result.
Sexual Assualt at 5 years old by a family member.
Domestic Abuse Relationship.
Adopted.
Mother in a wheelchair.
Corporate Retail.
When I thought about things that have defined the person I am today...these are the 5 things that stand out in my mind. There is some negative parts...but there is even more positive.
For those of you that don't know...I am adopted. This is one of my favorite parts of my story. It is probably the most confusing yet fascinating parts. I was adopted by my birth mother's childhood best friend. My Moms have known each other since they were 12. I mean if I could figure out how to legally make me and my best gal family...I would do it! Our family dynamic is crazy and confusing for outsiders. I wouldn't change this nontraditional family dynamic for anything. It is a HUGE part of my and my story and I love every ounce of it!<~~~~~I will dive into this a lot more in a different blog post.
Growing up with a mother in a wheelchair can be tough. The stares from strangers, the whispers and the pointing, the crazy questions and stories that perfect strangers feel is ok to say to someone. Y'ALL! IT IS INSANE. Growing up in a house with my mother is ABSOLUTELY why I am the way that I am. It is why I have such a drive to go after my goals. There is nothing in this world that you cannot accomplish. You might just need to take a step back and look at the situation in a different way. My mother is my daily inspiration. She taught me that no matter what life throws your way...it doesn't and shouldn't limit your drive to succeed.
I was sexually assaulted at 5 years old by a family member. Not some stranger. Not in a public restroom. In the home I was growing up in, on the couch I took naps on, by a person that was supposed to love me, take care of me, and MOST OF ALL...PROTECT ME. I was in Kindergarten when this incident happened. I remember telling my mom in her what happened while we were in her bathroom. It was 29 years ago and I can still tell you what the temperature of the room was like when it happened. I can tell you what direction I was facing in the bathroom when I told mom. (Keep in mind I am 5 years old and people don't like to believe that a child that young can remember such vivid pictures.) I remember being at the court house and seeing my attacker again for the first time. At the time I had no idea why I couldn't see my family member for so long. I didn't realize the extent of what was going on. I can tell you that when I did finally realize the extent of what happened to me...I was 15 years old. I still have a little bit of PTSD from this. I have worked really hard to not let this event define my life. My attacker doesn't get to have that kind of control and power over my life. I still have to see my attacker. Not often...however...several times a year. I have the power now. I have taught this person how to act around me. I have taught this person that I have never forgotten. I taught this person that I am in control and he has lost his power over me. All thanks to my wonderful mother. This awful event helped create my survivor mindset.
Corporate retail has been a part of my life off and on for the last 16 years. Corporate life is tough. All the companies that I have worked for say that they are invested in their people and are family oriented. THAT IS A FUCKING LIE!!!!! I have lost more sleep and been in the worst health of my life due to stress from these jobs. What I did learn was a lot about my leadership style. You see there is a MAJOR difference between being a leader and being a manager. I owe these companies a big thank you for all the expensive training and leadership exercises. These have truly shaped me into the strong leader I am today. I have been able to use my skills in all aspects of life.
Domestic Abuse...I escaped almost 2 years ago. (This is a blog post you won't want to miss. Unless you are triggered from past events in your life.) I would never wish anyone go through this. Unfortunately, this happens all too often. Living in an abusive situation is really tough. I don't know if you guys know this...BUUUUTTTT...I am an empath. This is both a blessing and a curse. 4 years ago...I didn't know how to control that part of me. You see narcissists prey on empaths. They know exactly what to say to make you fall in love quickly and then they MIND FUCK YOU SO HARD! Leaving was hard. You believe that you won't find anything better. You also start to believe that you are the problem and that you need to fix things about yourself. You even start to compromise your beliefs. Suddenly there is a person or an event that lifts the blinds a little. You start to realize that you aren't any of the things your abuser says you are. You finally escape and focus on rebuilding yourself. Sharing my story has helped me realize that I am not alone. I have been able to inspire a few hundred women to see their worth. I have discovered my voice again!!
I share all of this to show you that your past doesn't limit your future. Are you up for the challenge? Can you find a positive in your darkest moments? There is a lot to learn here. If you gain anything from this blog...I hope that it is to keep looking at life in a positive light. The more positive you put out...the more you will get in return.
Until next time...
XOXO,
Dev
P.S. Happy Birthday Great Grandma! You would have been 107. Thank you for all the lessons you taught me!! I love and miss you everyday!
For those of you that don't know...I am adopted. This is one of my favorite parts of my story. It is probably the most confusing yet fascinating parts. I was adopted by my birth mother's childhood best friend. My Moms have known each other since they were 12. I mean if I could figure out how to legally make me and my best gal family...I would do it! Our family dynamic is crazy and confusing for outsiders. I wouldn't change this nontraditional family dynamic for anything. It is a HUGE part of my and my story and I love every ounce of it!<~~~~~I will dive into this a lot more in a different blog post.
Growing up with a mother in a wheelchair can be tough. The stares from strangers, the whispers and the pointing, the crazy questions and stories that perfect strangers feel is ok to say to someone. Y'ALL! IT IS INSANE. Growing up in a house with my mother is ABSOLUTELY why I am the way that I am. It is why I have such a drive to go after my goals. There is nothing in this world that you cannot accomplish. You might just need to take a step back and look at the situation in a different way. My mother is my daily inspiration. She taught me that no matter what life throws your way...it doesn't and shouldn't limit your drive to succeed.
I was sexually assaulted at 5 years old by a family member. Not some stranger. Not in a public restroom. In the home I was growing up in, on the couch I took naps on, by a person that was supposed to love me, take care of me, and MOST OF ALL...PROTECT ME. I was in Kindergarten when this incident happened. I remember telling my mom in her what happened while we were in her bathroom. It was 29 years ago and I can still tell you what the temperature of the room was like when it happened. I can tell you what direction I was facing in the bathroom when I told mom. (Keep in mind I am 5 years old and people don't like to believe that a child that young can remember such vivid pictures.) I remember being at the court house and seeing my attacker again for the first time. At the time I had no idea why I couldn't see my family member for so long. I didn't realize the extent of what was going on. I can tell you that when I did finally realize the extent of what happened to me...I was 15 years old. I still have a little bit of PTSD from this. I have worked really hard to not let this event define my life. My attacker doesn't get to have that kind of control and power over my life. I still have to see my attacker. Not often...however...several times a year. I have the power now. I have taught this person how to act around me. I have taught this person that I have never forgotten. I taught this person that I am in control and he has lost his power over me. All thanks to my wonderful mother. This awful event helped create my survivor mindset.
Corporate retail has been a part of my life off and on for the last 16 years. Corporate life is tough. All the companies that I have worked for say that they are invested in their people and are family oriented. THAT IS A FUCKING LIE!!!!! I have lost more sleep and been in the worst health of my life due to stress from these jobs. What I did learn was a lot about my leadership style. You see there is a MAJOR difference between being a leader and being a manager. I owe these companies a big thank you for all the expensive training and leadership exercises. These have truly shaped me into the strong leader I am today. I have been able to use my skills in all aspects of life.
Domestic Abuse...I escaped almost 2 years ago. (This is a blog post you won't want to miss. Unless you are triggered from past events in your life.) I would never wish anyone go through this. Unfortunately, this happens all too often. Living in an abusive situation is really tough. I don't know if you guys know this...BUUUUTTTT...I am an empath. This is both a blessing and a curse. 4 years ago...I didn't know how to control that part of me. You see narcissists prey on empaths. They know exactly what to say to make you fall in love quickly and then they MIND FUCK YOU SO HARD! Leaving was hard. You believe that you won't find anything better. You also start to believe that you are the problem and that you need to fix things about yourself. You even start to compromise your beliefs. Suddenly there is a person or an event that lifts the blinds a little. You start to realize that you aren't any of the things your abuser says you are. You finally escape and focus on rebuilding yourself. Sharing my story has helped me realize that I am not alone. I have been able to inspire a few hundred women to see their worth. I have discovered my voice again!!
I share all of this to show you that your past doesn't limit your future. Are you up for the challenge? Can you find a positive in your darkest moments? There is a lot to learn here. If you gain anything from this blog...I hope that it is to keep looking at life in a positive light. The more positive you put out...the more you will get in return.
Until next time...
XOXO,
Dev
P.S. Happy Birthday Great Grandma! You would have been 107. Thank you for all the lessons you taught me!! I love and miss you everyday!
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